Fire in my Soul

The Summer Solstice has arrived.

I dreamt of fire all night, right up to the dawn. Over and over, fire arose in my dreams, a messenger for the powerful energy that can create or destroy.

And I awoke to Raven talking outside my window.

Raven, messenger of the Between, he who speaks of Grief and Flight and the Otherworld.

Does it seem strange that although Raven is an Ally that teaches me about sorrowing, about death, life and rebirth, about heart break and soul tearing life events… That I still welcome him wholeheartedly when he arrives? That my heart sings and I smile, eyes closed, laying back, not ready to be fully in this realm, yet so joyous to have Raven be my first sound?

Perhaps, to some. To me, it just is. I acknowledge that there is a sweetness to my sorrowing now. Bittersweet, but still…the sweetness is there.

Summer Solstice is a celestial event, the zenith of the Sun and the Light for our yearly Wheel. Its celebration is ancient and we hold that knowing in our ancestral DNA, our ancestral Knowing. Even if we do not hold it in the front of our minds… It is there, within the Wise Self.

It has always been one of my favourite days. And it now holds some of my sorrowful energy, as it was also the day I handfasted someone I loved and thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Soulmate. Mo chuisle (Gaelic). My bonded heart-friend.

Here, in 2019, the memories remain fresh of that beautiful day; the perfect ceremony, the incredible gathering in Circle for such a powerful ritual. Those memories have become less jagged, their edges are slowly softening, and the bittersweetness arises – I have come to this place where I can appreciate the sorrow in this anniversary.

Sorrowing over the loss of something so beautiful is just…natural. I embrace this part of the grief journey, knowing that I can hold this sorrow, while being grateful for the experience, and for the love that I found there.

I have a new life path in front of me, and a new person that I love who walks it with me. I can hold the reflection of looking back, of pausing for a moment to greet Raven’s reminder of the day my life changed, and still be here in my present life, with my present blessings.

I can hold both, because Raven teaches me about navigating the Between. The And. The Light, and the Dark.

The Summer Solstice is our longest day, our day of most Light.

And.

It is also the day where that buildup ends, and we begin the slow decent back into the dark half of the year.

We can take comfort in the knowing that life will always change. There will always be movement – nothing is forever. Embracing the truth of impermanence can be terrifying, yet it allows us to fully embody the offerings of life, knowing they will one day disappear.

Everything I love, I will lose.

I will be grateful in my grief.

The Wheel Turns. 🙏🏻